Coach of Love

Stay Classy, Atlanta!


On a date, its all about class, people.  Ron Burgundy was not fooling around when he exhorted his San Diego fans to “Stay classy.”  What is class?  What does it mean to be “classy?”  Here are some synonyms for “classy:”   elegant, fine, graceful, refined, stately, tasteful.   I like the term “elegant” when it applies to our behavior on a date with someone we care about.  We strive for class because we respect who we are and we respect the person we are with.  No class = no respect.  The first sign the date is going to be a good one is a demonstration of class from your partner.  This is especially true on the first date.  If a sign of “no class” appears in the first 30 minutes or less, it’s going to a long night and should demonstrate a “red flag.”   Even if your date turns out not to be “second date worthy,” you can at least enjoy an elegant evening of conversation and avoid disasters by striving for class in your behaviors.

Here are 5 classy tips to enjoying a first date or the 10th.

1.  Speak kindly.  If a person is rude to a waiter, a store clerk, a valet, or anyone, you can bet they’ll easily be rude to you.  Guys, confidence is not in the tone of your voice or how loud or rudely you speak someone.  In fact, it’s a surefire way to demonstrate how insecure you are.  Ladies, the same goes for you.  A conversational tone and pleasant, graceful clarity is all you ever need.

2. In a restaurant, order what you can afford without commenting on how high other menu items are.  Guys, check the menu of the place where you intend to dine before you go.  Its 2013 and you can find most menus on line.  Do a little homework.  If you take a girl to a fancy place, be prepared to pay for what she orders and without comment, even if it’s the highest item on the menu.  If you can’t afford the prices, find another venue.  There are several smart phone apps available to help you find restaurants and bars within your budget.  Get one.  Ladies, unless your date is obviously financially independent, it’s not classy to order the highest item or the most expensive bottle of wine.  Be gracious and a good sport at making the most important goal of the night getting to know your date rather than trying to see how much he is willing to spend.

3.  Overindulging in alcohol is the quickest way to lose any class you do have.  Be aware of what you are doing.  Stick to one or two drinks and enjoy some conversation without loud or slurred words.  Trust me, if you can’t impress your date sober, you certainly are not going to impress them drunk.  Guys, do you really think getting her to drink a 3rd glass of wine is going to get you to second base or beyond?  Is that really how you want to get to second base?  Above all, don’t drink and drive.  Its the ultimate disrespect for your date’s safety and well being.  And don’t drink while driving.  Pour out the contents of the red Solo cup before you close the door.

4.  Safe driving when sober shows respect and class.  Guys, if you have to peel out, speed, drive aggressively or demonstrate your version of road rage to impress your date, please go back to high school.  Real men drive safely because they respect their date and the lives of others on the road.

5.  Dress appropriately for the venue and the date.  If its your first date, its best to err on the side of a little too dressy than not dressy enough.  Ladies, on the first date, keep things relatively modest.  You can be as beautiful and elegant as you want without relying too heavy on the “sexy card.”  Trust me, your man already knows you have the sexy card or he wouldn’t be asking you out in the first place.  Keep a little back for a few dates down the road when it’s time to explore the passion.  Guys, put some polish on the shoes.  Trim the nails and the hairs where they usually don’t grow.  Take a little pride and time to look your very best.  Don’t pull out the old faded button up shirt.  Maybe its time to freshen up your closet with some new duds that represent a classy and timely style.  And guys, one more thing:  if its after 6 pm, leave the baseball hat at home.  Unless you are going to Turner Stadium, you’ve got no business going out at night with a baseball hat on your head, no matter the logo on it.  It’s just not cool.

6.  Using the good, plain old manners your mother taught you is a great way to show class.  Please and thank you’s, opening doors for a lady, putting her coat on, allowing her to lead to a table, and gracious and kind conversation by both partners all go along way to winning a nod of appreciation from your date.  It’s never a bad call to use good manners.

7.  Guys, the lady doesn’t owe you anything at the end of the date and certainly not a kiss.  You’ll know if you are “good night kiss worthy” or not by her body language, but its not your place to press for it.  Ladies, if the date has been survivable, a “thank you” is probably appropriate.  If you either of you had a great time, by all means, communicate it graciously.

In all of these areas and others, you can still be yourself, speak with your accent, express your sense of humor, and engage in lively conversation.  None of these things will keep you from having fun or enjoying time with your date.  Having some class does make waking up the next day feel a lot better and it keeps your self-respect and the other person’s in tact.  And that’s a good thing.

Have fun, y’all.  And “Stay classy, Atlanta!”

Posted on May 13th, by John Hyatt in Dating.

2 thoughts on “Stay Classy, Atlanta!

  1. I wouldn’t have believed it, but I’ve experienced 1-4 recently- Come on guys, really??

  2. Louise, we both know this about them and not you! LOL! Keep pressing forward. You are being divinely led to your perfect man. 🙂